18 May 2012

18 May 2012:

Being your girlfriend for the past few years, I am really satisfied and happy although there are bitter moments. From the happy and unforgetable memories you gave me since the start of valentine's day, this is my first time I feel love and care from a stranger. So, I took the first step to open my heart and accept you as my boyfriend. Years goes by, we knew and understand each other. Quarrels , heated arguments, real characters and faces are out. Being an immature girl, the fastest way to express myself is to take the short cut without thinking that is breaking up with you. Solving the problems is not with me that time.  I just think to run out of the problems at that time and hurt you by saying that i don't love you and those words. In fact, i am just bluffing you and myself. I am sorry. Then the relationship went on off on off and both hearts seem like untrustable because of the scars and the wound there. I still remember that you once told me that, if one party feel insecure about the relationship, the other party must not give up and try to save this relationship. I think both of us did. I tried my best too to get you back but i am really tired now and I can't accept what you said such as I love my current conditions now, I don't feel like in the relationship for now, perhaps in future i will. For me, in the positive view, i would be thinking that maybe you need time, you are not ready, you are afraid to have me back and you don't trust me. But in the negative view, i would think that i am just a spare tyre for you. It seems like i am the stupid one who wait for you, you are testing how much i love you, how long i will wait and you didn't give me any secure and firm answers. And when another girl touch your heart, you would hurt me again and i can't really afford that anymore. I start to see the future of us faded days by days. After many thoughts and thinking, i had made my decision to take my heart back from you and forgive me that I already give up and everything for my wrong doing for this relationship. Forgive me if i am not strong enough to hold on to this relationship. I know you will live your life well and same goes to me. Goodbye.